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June
5, 2006
"Stand by Your Man"
MaryBeth Seal
Graduate of She Speaks! Conference
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Key
Verse:
I Thessalonians 3:8, "For now we can go on living, as long as you continue to stand firm in the Lord." (NIV)
Devotion:
My cousin read the game card aloud as we were gathered for an informal Sunday afternoon party. She asked, "Imagine if MaryBeth were a song. Which of these would she be? 'Stairway to Heaven'? 'Teddy Bear'? 'Stand By Your Man'? Or 'New York, New York'?"
The family members had to vote silently and show their cards simultaneously when instructed to reveal their thoughts. My husband smiled at me from across the room; it only took him seconds to make his decision. It was almost unanimous. "Stand by Your Man" ruled! I felt very proud and loved at that moment as the votes came in.
That past year had been one of the hardest of our twenty-eight years of marriage. My husband took a two-and-a-half-month leave of absence from work for a debilitating illness. Although he eventually recovered and was able to return to work, this was only one of many difficulties that year.
A month later he went for a routine check-up and was referred to see an urologist for a nodule that felt irregular on his prostate gland. On the day my husband was to receive his biopsy results, I offered to go with him. However, he said, "No, it's not necessary. I'll talk to you later."
His appointment was at 11:00 a.m. At noon he came to my office door. His hair was wild from riding his motorcycle, and he had an almost wilder look in his eyes, as if a whirlwind had torn through his soul. "I have cancer," he stated bluntly.
Again, a chance to trust God in our lives. We were faced with many decisions about treatments. We sought God in prayer. We decided upon the radical prostatectomy as our choice of treatment.
Now truly we can go on living, having learned again to stand firm in our faith in uncertain circumstances. We have come to know over the years that God is faithful by standing firm on His Word and by experiencing the fulfillment of His promises again and again.
So what did I learn as I watched my husband go through difficult times? I discovered how to stand by man, with the help of God, in three ways.
1. Stand firm in your emotions. Your man may take a trip on the ocean of emotion when faced with illness or surgery. Anger, depression, and anxiety can follow or precede a serious time of debilitation. Don't take his moods personally. It's hard not to because it feels personal. If the moods don't lift as he recovers, he may need medical treatment for it. The most spiritual of men can experience the deepest depression without it being a "sin thing."
2. Stand firm in your faith. When your finances are being stretched due to uncontrollable circumstances such as illness when he cannot work, remember, it's not his fault. God is your provider. Don't put any more pressure on your husband than he already has to deal with. God is in control. Get your Bible out and encourage yourself in the Lord, but don't burden your man with your fear when he is ill or recovering from illness. Stand firm! Men feel a tremendous responsibility to provide for their family, and it is very stressful for them when they are not able too. Remember the Red Sea? God still does miracles! When you feel pressured and don't see a way, God can make a way. "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord!" (Exodus 14:13 KJV)
3. Stand firm in your marriage vows. In sickness and in health, be there for him. Assure him that he was the man for you on your wedding day and will always be the man for you.
"Stand by Your Man," doesn't have to be simply the name of an old song. It can be oour motto as women who seek to love God and our husbands.
My
Prayer for Today:
Heavenly Father, please help me to stand by my husband in his times of weakness. Help me not to give way to fear but to trust in You with all my heart. Show me how to love him and support him during times of trials and testing. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Application
Steps:
1. Do not fret! You can control your emotional response to your situation. Help your husband by standing firm emotionally when his emotions are being strained.
2. Pray. Simply pray to God for your financial needs, for your husband, for yourself and your family. Pray silently for him when he is stressed; silence is golden.
3. Meditate on Scripture. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Listen to tapes on faith. Keep faith verses in places you view often. I kept one right over my kitchen faucet that I viewed daily.
4. Serve your husband. Some years ago, I worked as a nurse for a lady who was exceedingly wealthy. At dinner, the butler would just "stand-by" to the side of the woman's husband with a white towel over his arm. He would pour the man's wine when his glass would be half-empty. He would patiently and quietly, just stand-by. When your husband is under much stress or duress, just stand-by patiently and quietly. When his glass is half-empty and he is down, he may need you to serve him more love during these times.
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