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April 2005 ETC Corner
Marriage According to God
By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
Genesis 2:24, "Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh." (RSV)
1 Peter 3:1-2, "… you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior." (NLT)
1 Peter 3:7, "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard." (NLT)
Colossians 3:18-19, "A wife must put her husband first. This is her duty as a follower of the Lord. A husband must love his wife and not abuse her." (CEV)
Song of Solomon 2:3, "Like an apple tree among the trees in the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. I want to sit in his shadow. His fruit tastes sweet to me. He leads me into a banquet room and looks at me with love." (GWT)
Hebrews 13:4, "Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex." (MSG)
Ephesians 4:31, "Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing and hatred. Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ." (GWT)
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Margin
By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
Are you overly busy, tired, moody, stressed, and/or in debt? Is your health, happiness or relationships suffering because of it?
What you are a suffering from is overload, and what you need is more MARGIN.
Medical doctor Richard Swenson, author of Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, defines margin as "the space that once existed between ourselves and our limits." It's the cushion of extra time, energy, cash and capacity that allows us to deal easily with the unanticipated situations that arise in everyday life: a broken down car, a lost item, a sick child, a friend in crisis. Swenson maintains that to be fully healthy we need margin in at least four areas of our life: emotional energy, physical energy, time and finances. Below are some ways to increase margin in each of these areas.
Physical Energy
Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Drinks lots of water.
Exercise frequently.
Get enough rest.
Be realistic about your limits.
Time
Schedule in personal time, free time.
Schedule in family time.
Turn off the television.
Do "first things first."
Create weekly fun or nurturing rituals.
Realize many things take longer than expected.
Be willing to abandon your agenda for God's divine appointments.
Finances
Decrease spending.
Give.
Increase savings.
Make a budget.
Take credit cards out of your wallet.
Share and borrow with friends.
Go on periodic spending fasts.
This past Lent season, I sensed God calling me to a spending fast. I gave up shopping, eating out at restaurants, or buying anything but groceries and gas. It was hard at first, but ultimately a freeing experience.
When my girlfriends invited me out shopping I went, but focused myself entirely on them. I became their personal shopper, and had so much fun doing it. I also used up foods from the back of my pantry and freezer that I had nearly forgotten I had. They made for delicious, inexpensive meals. I gave away more money than usual, donating to non-profit organizations like my local crisis pregnancy center. When it came time for a baby shower for a new Christian in our church, I dug out my barely-been-used, top-of-the-line baby monitor I'd been meaning to take to the consignment shop and wrapped it up: "From my home to yours with blessings for the baby." I also found I spent more time with my family - playing games with the kids and working in the yard with my husband. I began to glimpse what life could be like with more margin - and the view was enticing.
Dr. Swenson writes, "Progress has had many overpriced ideas, but trading us burnout for margin was one of its most uncharitable." Pick a few ways from the lists above and bless yourself and by beginning to restore margin to your life today.
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Taming the TV: Guarding Kid's Hearts
By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
Many parents find themselves competing daily with the media for influence over their kids. Madison Avenue, Hollywood, and cable channels such as MTV and even Nickelodeon have much they'd like to teach our children -and their teaching methods are more memorable than the average parent's lecture. It is not news to parents that too much television viewing is harmful for kids - but how much is "too much" and what kind of harm can it do?
Much ado is made about the affects of violence on television. Research indicates that by the time the average child finishes elementary school, they will have seen 8,000 televised murders. By the time that child reaches the age of eighteen, they will have viewed more than 200,000 acts of violence on TV, including 40,000 murders.
In an unprecedented joint statement in 2000, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry concluded that children who repeatedly view violent programming: 1) are more likely to think violence is an effective strategy for settling conflicts, 2) are less likely to take helpful action when witnessing a real life occurrence of violence, 3) fear becoming a victim, increase self-protective behaviors, and develop a general mistrust of others, and 4) have a higher tendency for violent and aggressive behavior later in life.
Clearly, watching a lot of televised violence can be troublesome to a young, developing psyche. However, numerous studies also show that substance use, sexual promiscuity, obesity, negative body image, and decreased school performance can all stem from the television viewing habits of our kids.
So how much TV is too much? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children 2 years and older watch two or less hours of television per day, while children under the age of 2 years watch no television. A study that followed the viewing habits of kids from 1990-1998 revealed that 17 percent of infants, 48 percent of 1-year olds, and 41 percent of preschoolers watch more television daily than the AAP recommends.
Perhaps even more important than controlling the amount of television watched by our children and youth is monitoring the type of shows they are viewing. It is no longer safe, for example, to assume that because something is animated or is marketed to kids, that it is child-appropriate.
Parents are recommended to pre-screen what they allow their children to watch and - as often as possible - to watch along side their kids so they can interpret and explain what is seen. Many televisions today are equipped with the capability to block out certain shows or entire channels that parents deem unacceptable. Put that technology to work for you.
While many of these findings are worrisome, parents can exert some control.
We can keep televisions out of our children's rooms.
We can limit the amount of time we allow the television to be viewed.
We can screen the type of programming we allow into our homes.
We can talk to our kids about the dangers of media influence.
So the facts are in, turning off the TV to read, bike, play a board game, entertain friends or take a nature walk is an excellent idea for the emotional, social, physical, and intellectual well being of our children. Before you toss that television set out by the curb, just remember that a little TV is okay, as long as we monitor both the amount and quality of the shows our children watch.
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