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August 2004 ETC Corner
Be Your Child's Greatest Cheerleader
By Van Walton, Speaker Team Member
Here are ten tips for being your child's greatest cheerleader:
1. Mail a letter of encouragement with a coupon for ice cream or an extra 30 minutes of electronic game playing. Ask your child to get the mail that day.
2. Decorate their bedroom door or bathroom mirror. Include an appropriate Bible verse. A picture of your child is a nice addition. Use words like "A winner resides within" or "I'm a champion!"
3. Fold down his bedspread one night, like in a posh hotel, and place a note or a mint on the pillow.
4. Prepare her favorite meal the day she turns in a difficult project.
5. Greet your child after school with a ready-to-play game on the coffee table. Give undivided attention for 30 minutes of Old Maid or Monopoly.
6. Bring out the "YOU ARE SPECIAL" plate for an after-school snack.
7. Take warm cookies and milk, or a bowl of popcorn and lemonade, to your child while he is studying.
8. Buy a key chain with a frame and place your child's picture in it.
9. Award a blue ribbon (craft stores stock them) at the dinner table.
10. Tell your child that, although you are delighted with hard work, you value your child and love her because she is yours. (Always rewarding good grades and hard work creates a salvation-by-works mentality.)
And remember to always greet your child with a happy face, give lots of hugs, and say, "I love you" often.
Tips for Avoiding "Ministry Madness"
By Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
Many a woman, myself included, has drawn comfort from the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus and his entourage stopped at their home for a respite from their travels. Mary was thrilled with the opportunity to learn from Jesus and plopped herself down at his feet to listen to his every word. Martha too was thrilled about the company she was keeping that afternoon, and she busied herself in the kitchen trying to make all the food and accommodations "just so."
Growing resentful that her sister was not jumping on board the hospitality committee, Martha insisted that Jesus instruct Mary to help her in the kitchen. Jesus indicated that he would not instruct Mary to leave his side to help. He made it clear that "doing what needs to be done," is not always doing what needs to be done. Before we venture off into ministry and service, we need to ensure we are keeping our priorities properly aligned and that we are keeping in touch with the heart of the Father. Here are four tips to help:
1. Determine your spiritual gifts. You need to know what types of things God has gifted and called you to do. Ask the Lord to reveal these to you. Ask other Christians what talents they see in you. Take a spiritual gifts questionnaire - you can find some in your local Christian bookstore.
2. Pray before saying "yes." Whether you are asked over the telephone, over email, at your front door, over a cup of coffee, by your best friend, by your role model or by your pastor, always pray before you reply. If you need some time to pray and consider it, simply smile and say, "I will pray about that and let you know my answer at such and such time."
3. Ask your husband. If you are married, run any ministry opportunities (or other large time commitments) by your husband first. You will need his blessing and support to minister well. Sometimes my husband can tell better than I when I am getting over-extended. We also need to protect that quality time we spend connecting with him each day. If you are not married, this paragraph still applies to you and your heavenly husband, Jesus.
4. If you find yourself over-extended, feeling outside of God' will for your life, say so! Do not be afraid to pull back from things you are already doing in order to spend more time with God and your family. We have limited time and resources ladies, let's make sure we are investing them in the best possible way.
As a personal example, I was once leading a women's ministry I had been involved with for years, but I no longer sensed the Lord's anointing to do so. Like never before I found my service to this ministry disrupting to my family life. After much prayer, I withdrew as the group's leader. It was very hard to stand before the ladies and say: "I'm serving but it's not flowing well, and I'm growing resentful of my work here. I sense the need to step down and spend more time with my family and at the Lord's feet." I did so and experienced immediate personal revival. It wasn't long before God lead me to another, greater ministry opportunity I would otherwise have missed.
Jesus said between housework and heart-work, Mary had chosen the better thing. Given the choice between working for the Lord and working with Him, I'd rather work with Him any day. Mary had made the right choice and so can we. Friends, let us not grow weary in well doing (Gal 6:9) by trying to do too much.
10 Ways to Keep the Lines of Communication Open with your Kids
By Leigh Gray, Speaker Team Member
No matter the age of the child, they must know they have your trust if you are to keep lines of communication open. That means they must feel confident that you are not going to cut their sentences off in midstream with a judgment. Here are ten tips to help foster open communication:
1) Make sure your child knows that their words are worthy of you stopping everything to listen to them.
2) Get on your knees for small ones (even stand in a chair for older ones if you must!) so that you can look them in the eyes when they talk.
3) Ask your child to draw you a picture of what they are feeling. Your older child may want to journal you a note. Remember, feelings are hard even for adults to admit.
4) Whenever possible, get one-on-one with your child. Lie in bed with them and just talk, play "make believe" together, or go for a ride in the car.
5) Get in their world. Go to the batting cage, go window shopping, go swimming, go bug hunting. This will say to them that you value them and are interested in what they are interested in.
6) Ask them how you can pray for them.
7) Never tell their secrets - they must know they can trust you.
8) Don't make fun of them when they've unsuccessfully tried to do something on their own. Their pants may be on backwards and need "fixing", but gingerly try to accomplish that goal without criticizing or squelching their attempts at independence.
9) Encourage, encourage, encourage. Be their biggest fan, even when they are "ignoring" you!
10) Ask forgiveness quickly. Children must see a model of seeking forgiveness in order to seek it themselves one day.
Bottom line: Communication flows freely when love abounds!
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