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January 2007 ETC Corner
Mom's Day of Prayer
By Julie Dearyan
Coming soon to a location near you… It's the Mom's Day of Prayer!
Every third Saturday in January, women gather to pray for their children. This year's event will be on January 20, 2007.
When Betty Lyles' High School son, Troy, told her that he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby, she didn't think things could get much worse. Betty says, "I was thrown for a loop. Before this, I thought Troy had no problems. He had talked about how he was going to go into the ministry."
Troy told his mother in February. Two months later, the Lyles lost their insurance due to business troubles. Then a tornado devastated part of their home. In June, the baby was born and in October, Betty turned 50. "I often wondered which trial was worse," she says, now with a smile.
Three years later, Betty sat at her table reading the newspaper. An article caught her eye about Mom's Day of Prayer scheduled for the next Saturday. She knew immediately that this was just what she needed. She went to her son, "Troy, I want to let you know that next Saturday, I'm going to be praying for you and also that women from all across this city will be praying for you."
When Betty walked into the hushed auditorium and heard the voices of hundreds of women praying for their children, she wept. Other ladies took up Betty's cry and prayed with her. At the end of the day, Betty went home with a peace she hadn't had for a long time. The next day, her son went forward at the end of a church service and rededicated his heart to the Lord. Now he, his wife, and three children live close by and Betty couldn't be more thrilled.
Marsha Ford knew her son was in danger. A missionary for the Southern Baptists, Jason traveled in closed countries in Southeast Asia doing Bible distribution. Marsha prayed often for Jason but when she attended her first Mom's Day of Prayer, she knew that community-wide prayer was what her son really needed.
Marsha shares, "I can't speak enough of my relief when a larger body took up the cry for God's protection and provision on Jason's life."
For the next three years, women from Mom's Day of Prayer kept praying. All rejoiced when Jason came home.
Every third Saturday in January, women gather in churches across America and the world to pray for their children. They pray for the pressures their children face, their spiritual growth, for their fathers, school teachers, and pastors. Mom's Day of Prayer represents twelve states along with two cities in Australia and one in Senegal. And it is growing every year.
Not Just for Moms
Women from all walks of life attend. Grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and friends come to pray for the children in their lives. They are concerned about the pressures kids are under and know the children need supernatural strength everyday.
Margaret Burton attends MDOP to pray for her children and her grandchildren. Margaret gives insight about why grandmothers should attend. "Grandmothers everywhere need to take seriously the purpose of prayer. Mothers are busy these days like never before. They have to bring the kids to soccer practice, to the dentist and everything in between. When they do pray, they often feel totally exhausted. While their prayers are still very important, grandmothers can come in and do something great for that mother. They can spend extra time praying for their grandchildren."
Margaret has been involved with another ministry, Moms In Touch, for many years momsintouch.org. She sees MDOP as a natural outgrowth of that movement. "With Moms in Touch, women come together weekly to pray for their children. The Mom's Day of Prayer is a way for the entire community to participate."
Margaret continues, "It's important that women realize that any person can pray. No one has to wear a prayer warrior pin to come to the event. It's a call for all women to pray together for our precious children."
How Can You Get Involved?
Perhaps you desire to participate in next year's Moms Day of Prayer. Find out about an event in your area by going to the Mom's Day of Prayer web site at momsdayofprayer.com. You will also get information about being a coordinator for your own event. The website has helpful hints, downloadable fliers, and sample radio spots for promotional purposes.
Organizing My Life With Spiral Notebooks
by Beverly Dillow
It's a New Year and time to get organized! If you've ever been intimidated by complicated calendars and day planners, you'll love Beverly's easy and inexpensive system for organizing to-do lists, goals and more!
Research shows that when you write down goals, you are 80% more likely to complete them. So how can you get your goals and to-do lists organized for the New Year?
I would like to share an easy solution to this problem that has worked perfectly for me. I use spiral notebooks that you can find at any office supply or discount store. I have paid anywhere from ten cents to one dollar for these spirals. Since they are so inexpensive, I never hesitate to tear out pages to throw away or file. With the spiral system, I can set it up anyway that I want, instead of according to someone else's plan. A permanent marker is perfect to write the title on the front cover, and I use bright sticky note tags to mark pages that I turn to on a regular basis. Then, I store all of my spirals together on my desk for easy retrieval. Here's an example of how I organize my spiral notebooks:
Spiral #1 - To Do
This is where I keep a running list of my to do's for each day. Instead of little notes everywhere of things to get done, I put today's date at the top of the page. I make my list of things to do for that day. As I complete a task, I then mark it out. At the end of the day whatever is not marked off, I transfer those items to the next page with tomorrow's date on it. I then tear out the list from today and throw it away. I do this until my pages are all gone, then I replace it with a new spiral.
Spiral #2 - Home Management
The first page of my Home Management Spiral has my housecleaning schedule. Each day I tend to a different section of our home, which I have found easier than taking an entire day to clean. I also have a page designated for each room of my home. On this page I list my goals for that room. (Example: Guest Bath needs new towels; Nathan's room needs the ceiling fan dusted; change out pictures in Master Bedroom, etc.) As I complete a task for each room, I then cross off that item.
I love to clip decorating pictures out of magazines of ideas that I would like to try. I use a glue stick and glue them in this notebook for future reference. I also have a section for books, music, or movies that I have loaned out. Anything that has to do with my home management would go in this spiral.
Spiral #3 - Kitchen
This is the notebook that I record menu plans and copy recipes that I want to try. I can use this same book for my grocery list as I make my menu plans. I just tear out the page before heading to the grocery store. Anything involving food and kitchen will go in this spiral.
Spiral #4 - Diet/Health
This is a journal that I most recently put together because I desperately want to lose weight. On the first page I have glued my before pictures for motivation. Listed in this spiral is my measurement chart with my goals as well. I have recorded anything that will motivate me and encourage me in the area of a healthy eating lifestyle. I record thoughts and feelings that I'm having in the eating/exercise area. I also record scriptures that the Lord has given me to comfort me.
Spiral #5 - Personal
Daily thoughts, dreams, ideas and goals are some of the items in this spiral. I try to write at least one paragraph a day on anything. It could be a sermon I heard that sparked something or a memory from my childhood. I've recorded things my children have said and done that I don't want to forget.
Spiral #6 - Bible Study
While doing my daily devotions and Bible study, I keep this spiral close by to record scriptures I'm memorizing and things the Lord shows me during my reading. This is where I keep my prayer list.
Other Possible Categories
Along with the categories I've given you, I also have a different one for each ministry I'm involved in. (Women's Ministry, Ladies Bible Class, Writer's Group, etc.) Then, when I attend a meeting, I just grab my spiral and take it with me.
Taming the Tattletale
By Ginger Plowman
Read more from author Ginger Plowman on how to deal with common parenting issues from her book "Heaven at Home."
"Christopher's not letting me play with the ball!" "Sarah's calling me names!" "Tommy won't let me in the bathroom!" Sound familiar?
Tattling reigns as one of the most common behavior problems among siblings. Unfortunately, it is overlooked rather than dealt with properly in many homes. Parents often pardon rather than correct the tattler simply because they do not know how to deal with the issue. While some parents are frustrated with their inability to control the problem, others try to rationalize their decision to avoid correction.
"After all," reasons one parent, "if my child is doing something that he ought not do, why does it matter how I find out?"
Another parent says, "If one of my children has been wronged by his sibling, I would rather he come tell me than to fight back."
While these are reasonable arguments for not correcting the tattler, they are not biblical. So what's a parent to do? I'm glad you asked. Thankfully, God has given us instructions in His Word, which explain how we are to train our children. Yes, He even talks about tattling! Whew! Isn't it wonderful that we do not have to come up with solutions on our own?
The Scene
David and Brad are playing cars in the family room. While David pushes his red Camaro with t-tops on the hot wheels track, Brad decides that throwing the cars at a target (i.e. Fluffy, the cat) would be more fun. As Mom washes the dishes, off in the distance, she hears three of the most annoying words a mother can hear, "I'm telling Mom!" followed by, "Tattle-tale, Tattle-tale, I'm not playing with you anymore!"
Charging through the swinging door of the kitchen, the boys come to a screeching halt in front of Mom. David directs a smirk towards his fuming brother then proceeds to present his case before the maternal judge.
The many options for dealing with the problem begin to struggle for leadership in your mind. Do you thank David for informing you of his brother's wrongdoing? Do you instruct them to put away the cars and play with something else? Do you separate them until they forget about the whole issue? Decisions, decisions. A wise mother will base her child-training decisions on God's Word. She will look past the outward behavior of the tattler and concern herself with the issues of the child's heart. She will uproot the weeds of foolishness, plant seeds of righteousness, and teach her child to grow in wisdom.
Step 1
Teach the tattler to evaluate his own heart. It is not the parents' right to judge the thoughts and motives of their children but they can aid them in evaluating their own hearts. Throughout Scripture, Jesus caused people to evaluate themselves by asking heart-probing questions. Parents can train the tattler to discern matters of his own heart by asking thought-provoking questions in the same way Jesus did. By teaching the tattler to determine his own motives, you are teaching him how to "think" like a Christian.
Be sure to ask the questions in such a way that the tattler is caused to take his focus off of the other person and put it on to the sin in his own heart. You might ask, "David, could it be that you are delighting in getting your brother in trouble?" Have David think through the result he is after by "informing" you of his brother's wrongdoing. Require him to verbally express what is in his heart.
Step 2
Teach the tattler to "put off" tale-bearing. Ephesians 4:22 says, "…put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires." It is important that you show the tattler precisely what he is doing wrong in accordance with God's Word. You might say, "Honey, did you know that one of the seven things that God hates is one who causes trouble with his brothers?" (Proverbs 6:19b).
Remind him of what the Bible says in Proverbs 17:5b, "(W)hoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished." You might say, "Sweetheart, if you are trying to get your brother in trouble for your own enjoyment then you will get in trouble." In our home, the tattler faces the same consequences as the other child.
Step 3
Teach the tattler to "put on" encouragement. Ephesians 4:24 says, "…to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." It is not enough to rebuke the child for tattling. You must teach him how to replace wrong behavior with right behavior. Rebuking the child for tattling without providing a means of escape by teaching him what he could have done instead would be exasperating for him. This type of neglect can provoke the child to anger.
You might say, "David, Hebrews 10:24 says that we are to 'spur one another on toward love and good deeds.' Rather than tattling, what could you have said to encourage your brother?" If this is a new concept for the child, you may have to offer suggestions like, "Mom says we shouldn't throw things in the house. I don't want you to get in trouble so you better stop." After giving him an example, allow him to think of his own encouraging words.
Step 4
Teach the tattler to practice what he has learned. The training will stick better when the tattler is required to practice the biblical alternative to his sinful behavior. Role-playing is an extremely effective way for the tattler to put his knowledge into practice. Role-playing causes the child to become a "doer" rather than just a "hearer" of the Word of God, equipping him to respond biblically to similar situations in the future.
Lead both children back to the scene of the crime, the family room. Allow Brad to throw (or for the sake of Fluffy, pretend to throw) his car. Tell David to encourage his brother, in a gentle, self-controlled voice, to stop throwing. Require Brad to respond to David's rebuke by refraining from throwing the cars and thanking his brother for his encouragement.
Children learn by repetition. Be willing to work with your children over and over. On those tiresome days, when you become weary from taking the time to train them, remember Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
There are a few exceptions to the "no tattling" rule. A child should come directly to the parent if another child is not heeding the rebuke / encouragement, endangering himself, endangering someone else, or destroying property.
Tattling is often a sign of a child who delights in his sibling's suffering by prompting negative consequences on that sibling's life. Tattling as a means to get the other in trouble is the same as wishing ill will rather than blessing on the brother / sister, causing the bond of trust to be broken. It can be a sign of revenge, or an unfair means of gaining the upper hand in conflict. Whatever the motive, nine times out of ten, it's wrong. With the steps outlined above, you can learn to be discerning of what lies beneath the voice of the tattletale, and help your children break the tattling habit.
Adapted from Ginger Plowman's book "Heaven at Home." Click here to purchase this book from Proverbs 31 Ministries.
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