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MARCH 2005 ETC Corner
Material Girls
By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
If you are anything like me –and millions of other women – you find it hard to disengage yourself from the lifestyle of consumerism so prevalent in our society today. How can material things - mere inanimate objects - have so much power over us?
You may have read my “affluenza” devotion last summer where I lamented:
The store-wide clearance sale is going on today at JC Penny’s. I’m trying very hard not to go in search of a fantastic bargain on something I never realized I needed until I saw it. Have you ever noticed how addictive shopping can be? It’s hard to pass up the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of the bargain, the excitement of something new, or dare I say the possible envy of your friends.
Somehow every purchase I make seems to lead to more purchases. I buy the kids new winter coats to replace outgrown ones, but now I want to get new scarves to match the new coat colors. I get a mirror for the living room wall, only to find it throws the room off balance and now I need something for the opposite wall. I purchase a black and red sweater only to discover that my old black pants look faded next to the new sweater and head off to the store for new black pants. While at the store I find a fabulous pair of “Legally Blonde” pink shoes on clearance for only $13.00! (Don’t ask why I’m in the shoe department to buy black pants.) It seems a crime not to buy them, but now I need an equally fabulous pink skirt to wear with them.
That’s the thing about money and things; you can never quite get enough. Styles and fashions change with the seasons. Technology improves rapidly. New gadgets and great bargains await you down every aisle. There are always newer and nicer things to be had, and there are always people around you having them.
So what happens when we routinely shop for recreational, emotional or even social purposes? We become in - and in debt. In 2005 it is expected that more women will file for bankruptcy than will graduate from college.
Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Tyagi reveal in The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle Class Parents are Going Broke, “Seventy percent of all Americans say that they are carrying so much debt that it is making their home lives unhappy.” These authors also predict that should these trends persist, by the end of the decade “nearly one of every seven families with children would have declared itself flat broke, losers in the great American economic game.”
So how can we detach ourselves from the desire to spend more than we can reasonably afford – be it on a home, a car, or a sweater? First and foremost we must turn to God. Let’s ask forgiveness for how poorly we’ve handled the money He has provided us in the past, and ask Him to help us begin making wiser choices. We also need to turn to Jesus to fill the emotional and spiritual holes we keep trying to satisfy with more and better things. We cannot purchase our way to wholeness and contentment.
The Bible clearly states that God will not reign in our lives as long as we have material things enthroned in our hearts (Matthew 6:24). Let us renounce money, luxury and possessions as the main goals in life, and replace them with the desire to glorify God, to bless others, and to live out our God-given purposes. Kay Arthur has written a nine week devotional study book called Lord, I’m Torn Between Two Masters that may help us with this important step.
Next, we need to give. Let us give to our local church. Let us give to reputable ministries, and let us bless those around us as the Lord leads. Helping others - indeed helping God accomplish His will on Earth - with our money can be just as satisfying as purchasing a great find. Also, as we give purposely and joyfully, we will deposit treasure in our heavenly bank accounts (Matthew 6:20). Randy Alcorn has written a short book that can help provide us with a big motivation to give entitled The Treasure Principle.
Finally, as Ellie Kay suggested in her article “Debt Diet” in this month’s issue of the P31 Woman, create and follow a monthly budget. Budgets provide a needed plan and a form of accountability. For help with this task, visit Crown Financial Ministries at www.crown.org.
The lifestyle of consumerism is all around us. The temptation to try to satisfy our own needs and desires with material things is strong. Ultimately, however, the best bargain in town is still that we can trade our filthy rags for robes of righteousness in the dressing room of our very own hearts.
Rachel is a member of the P31 Speaker Team. Some of her topics include HEAVENLY FASHIONS, and FOOTLOOSE AND FEARLESSLY FREE.
Finding Easter
By: Marie Ogram, Speaker Team Member
These days it’s often hard to find Christ at Easter amidst all the bunnies, chicks and eggs! Here are two great ways to “find” Christ in the typical customs and celebrations.
Resurrection Egg Hunt – While most plastic eggs contain candy, you can teach kids about the Easter story by hunting for eggs filled with small objects pertaining to the Easter story. After the eggs have been collected, explain the meaning behind each object by reading its corresponding scriptures.
You may find a ready made set of these eggs for this purpose, or you can make your own using the following items:
Nails- John 19:34,37
Thorns- Matthew 27:29
Herbs- Matthew 27:34
Wooden Cross- John 19:17-18
Dice- March 15:24
30 coins- Matthew 26:15
Stone- Matthew 27:66
Piece of sponge- Mark 15:36
Piece of purple cloth- Mark 15:16
Piece of linen(gauze) March 15:46
Sign-King of the Jews- Matthews 27:37
Empty egg- Matthew 27:5-7
Easter Basket Hunt - Another idea my family has done is to create a biblical scavenger hunt to find Easter baskets. The first clue is left in the Bible. All clues are simply Bible references. The Scripture is not written out. Children have to go back to the Bible with the clue and read for the next clue. If you have older children who can read, have them figure out the clues on their own. Smaller children can listen to the clues being read. You can make up as many clues as you want. Here are some ideas:
John 11:35 (at the tissue box leave the next clue)
Scripture for this one is “Jesus wept.”
Matthew 5:13 (at the salt shaker leave the next clue)
Scripture for this one is “Salt of the Earth.”
Matthew 5:14 (at the lamp or light switch leave the next clue)
Scripture is “Light of the World.”
John 6:48 ( at the bread box leave the next clue)
Scripture is “I am the Bread of Life.”
Like Christmas, Easter can easily become about everything but Christ. Get inventive and find way to bring the focus back to the reason for this Lenten season.
Marie Ogram is a member of the P31 Speaker Team. Her topics include GIVE ME A PRAYERFUL HEART and FEAR FACTOR vs. FAITH FACTOR.
Fighting Words
By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member
Research indicates many couples break up because they do not know how to resolve their differences through communication. This month’s issue of the P31 Woman featured an article on “Fighting Fair” by Dr. Steve Stephens and Alice Gray, authors of The Walk Out Woman.
These authors offered useful information for resolving arguments constructively including:
Select an appropriate time and place to discuss the issue.
Discuss only one issue at a time and don’t drag up past offensives.
Try not to interrupt when your spouse is speaking.
Work towards a compromise or a solution that each person can live with.
Choose your words respectfully and carefully, and apologize if need be at the end of the discussion for anything hurtful you may have said.
That last tip – to choose our words respectfully and carefully – is something the Bible says a lot about. God knows hostile words breed resentment and aggression, and these are major obstacles to resolving conflicts. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”
Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise [brings] healing.” Here, speaking rashly (hastily, impulsively, and carelessly) is linked with speaking piercing (cutting, wounding, and destructive) words. So when we blurt out in anger, in self-defense or in retaliation, we tend to do so with damaging words that create a larger divide between us and our spouse.
Hastily venting negative emotions may “clear our chest” temporarily, but it only serves to escalate the conflict. The same is true of name-calling, cursing and sarcasm. Each of these word choices will carry you farther and farther away from a solution or resolution.
How much better it is to remain calm and choose our words carefully. Proverbs 15:28 says, “The mind of the righteous person thinks before answering, but the mouth of the wicked blurts out evil things.” Proverbs 29:11 echoes that point, explaining, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check.”
Jesus’ brother James wrote to early Christians advising, “My dearly loved brothers, understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). James understood that words have an eternal nature. He knew that once they are spoken, the damage they do cannot be simply erased. He remembered his brother Jesus warning, “I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak” (Matthew 12:36).
All couples experience conflict from time to time. Successfully navigating our way through disagreement can leave our marriage – or any relationship - stronger than before. Taming our tongue to communicate effectively and respectfully is key. We do not have to become one of the statistics of divorce. When discussing a problem or issue, keep focused on the goal to mutually resolve the conflict and restore the relationship. Then, carefully choose words that will move you towards, and not away from these goals.
Rachel is a member of the P31 Speaker Team and holds a master’s degree in family communication. Some of her topics include FRUITFUL FAMILES and THE PURPOSE DRIVEN MOM.
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