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September 2007 Feature Article
I'm Her Guide, Not Her God
By: Lysa TerKeurst
End-of-the-year testing may seem like a strange thing to think about as we head into the school year, but not really. It's something many parents think about throughout the year, whether educating kids at home or in school. These tests can strike fear in the depths of teachers' and parents' hearts alike. We see these results as
benchmarks of how smart our kids are and possibly even as a glimpse of how successful they'll be when they grow up. Do well on the standardized test and you'll do well in life, right?
Last May I sat in tears as I reviewed one of my children's standardized test results. She is a bright, funny, articulate child. In my eyes, she's perfect. But according to her test, she is seriously falling behind the mark of even being average when it comes to her academics. Immediately my mind flew into dark clouds of discouragement, doubt and defeat. Maybe I hadn't helped her enough with her homework. Maybe I ate the wrong things when I was pregnant with her. Maybe she has some kind of disability that I've been too naïve to pick up on. Maybe I stink as a mom. Though I knew with my head the test was supposed to measure my daughter's academic achievements, I felt with my heart it was also a measure of me, and I was found seriously lacking.
Though I'd spent hours helping her with homework, school projects and taking her to and from tutoring sessions, it hadn't been enough. Through my tears I prayed, "God, I'm supposed to help this child find her way in life. I'm supposed to show her, teach her and give her every opportunity for success. I'm supposed to encourage her that if she'll do her best, then anything is possible for her. But according to these test scores, she's not on track. Lord, tell me what to do."
Instead of rushing to the phone book to frantically research other tutors and help centers, which was my next plan after praying, I felt the strongest tug on my heart to sit still and simply listen. I was to listen to whatever the Lord had to say in response to my cries.
The longer I sat, the calmer I felt. And then the Lord's answer came through a gentle rush in my soul which whispered, "You are her guide, not her God. I put your daughter together in your womb and perfectly designed her as a complete and whole person. The limitations, as you would call them, don't limit me … they enable me to let My perfect plan unfold in her life. I have a plan for this child that is actually coming about quite nicely. That test might measure her spelling, reading, writing and math abilities but it has no way of measuring how she is doing as a person. Those skills are important but they are a small part of seeing her grow into the woman I am calling and equipping her to be. Your daughter doesn't need to be fixed, she needs to learn to be fascinated with all I have in store for her life. It's okay to get her some extra help with the skills that she needs. But, do it in a way that makes sense and fits within your budget and time constraints. Don't think about 10 years down the road. Just think about today and ask Me for your assignment to best guide her today. Leave the results and the future to Me. I am capable. I am her God."
So, instead of running to the phone book, I simply walked over to my precious child and hugged her. All those school concerns melted away as I quietly thanked God for perfectly designing this daughter of mine. I filed the test results away with a stick-it note pasted on the front of them that read, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness … For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV).
This year I have written all of my articles in hopes of tackling some of the "I can'ts" of life. I pray this article will encourage those of you who have kids who struggle with some kind of "I can't" in their life.
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